Jordan Peterson - Do You Want To Have A Life? Or Be Exceptional At One Thing?

In this video Jordan Petersen discusses the pros and cons of a more balanced life vs being very focussed in how you spend your time.

When I was younger I was encouraged to follow the balanced approach through schooling and socialisation. Being very focussed on a small number of topics gets you labelled a nerd or boring.

However living in that way made me unhappy and over time I learned that most of the people that were living these balanced lifestyles were not achieving anything exceptional in their lives.

Every since I ditched that way of being I became much happier but it's true, you sacrifice a lot to life in this way. It has cost me at least one very good relationship.

Getting Back In The Groove

The last couple of months have been busy for me with changes in my personal and business life. But a lot of those things have been sorted out now and my thoughts turn to back to my dating life.

As I mentioned in previous posts I no longer go to bars and clubs for the sole purpose of meeting women. But I do have some hobbies that involve being out and about in the evenings.

On the surface it may seem like the end result is the same but the difference is that whether I'm meeting women or not I am still improving my skills and having a good time.

Over the past week I've been out a couple of times and I met a nice girl who is visiting from abroad for a while. Let's call her Dancer. My social skills are quite rusty but I'm quite excited to meet new people so it went well without me having to think about tactics or techniques. I have her contact details and am aiming to arrange a date for next week.

In the mean time I've been contacted by an old prospect that I never man…

Shit Test = Congruency / Frame / Fitness Testing

Back in the day someone (I think it was Ross Jeffries) came up with the idea of (are you full of) shit testing.
They might take the form of a light insult "You're a bit short for me", something more subtle "How tall are you?", maybe getting you to qualify yourself "You realise this event is exclusive don't you?" or perhaps getting compliance from you "Can you hold my bag for a second?". 
Unconsciously or consciously it's all the ways in which people try to break your frame and impose their own, usually to establish that they are higher on the social hierarchy or have more social value than you.
In my opinion the best way to beat these tests is with the least effort possible. Silence, a raised eyebrow with a slight smile, a firm but polite 'No'. If that doesn't work you can move on to classic techniques like agree & amplify.
Now one of the reasons I never liked the term 'shit-test' is because it's not very…

Testosterone and the cycle of winning

Over on Reddit someone asked why his roommate did not seem to have any interest in changing his habits with women. 
See here:

On one level you can talk about beliefs systems and personal psychology but I think it's also useful to dig further down right to what's happening in our body.

Some of my comments in the thread:

On an unconscious level they realise that they are so low on the hierarchy that their genes are not deserving of being passed on.

You can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink.

Sometimes you can help someone feel like they are moving up the hierarchy and they'll feel more worthy and then open to change.

SirByron wrote:

Not enough Testosterone (yes simplistic but accurate answer). Testosterone drives ambition. True ambition realizes that it cannot change the world so it must change oneself.
Mankind's highest achievements are driven by Testosteron…

Opportunity Cost and the Law Of Diminishing Returns

Below are two comments I posted the other day about opportunity cost and the law of diminishing returns.

The first one was posted as a response to this article by Krauser: Ruminations O Happiness
When I was a couple of years into my game journey I started having some of the success that people dream about. At one point I was hooking up with women in club toilets within 30 minutes of meeting them (using sexual tension). While it was exciting the first couple of times I did it, most of the fun came from the fact that I was playing with the social matrix as I saw it. For me sex is much more fun in the privacy of my own home.
(Side note, in this period I became quite frustrated with women and how they were so completely living in the present that they’d rather have sex in an alley than come home with me, although that could be a failing of that particular style of game).
Moments like that made me stop and think, …

A quick fix for most of your game issues

I'm currently dealing with an issue which means I'm stuck at home unable to leave the house. So I've been hanging out on just to see what the current state of mind of men is in the world of dating advice.

As a side note I've always had an issue with labelling these skills and mindsets 'seduction', it sounds so sleazy and underhanded. 
Anyway 99% of the issues people are asking questions about on that forum can be solved in the following way. Live with an abundance mindset.
Easier said than done you say?
No, it's really easy.
All you need to do is multiply your efforts. If you're starting out you must be making at least 10 approaches per week (preferably 20 - 50 if you're hitting up bars and clubs). You need to be gathering as many contact details as you can. You need to line up two to three dates a week.
You need to have so many prospects that you can't differentiate between them all and need to keep notes on your phone to…

That's what friends are for

I've been reacquainting myself with the online world of men's lifestyle advice and I've noticed a lot of advice against having women as friends.

Even in my darkest days of immersion I never thought it was bad to have women as friends.
The reasoning seems to be that women won't help you bury a body in the desert at short notice and therefore can't be counted on as friends. And if they're not that kind of friend then they're using and manipulating you. 
That's very immature mindset and it's not going to help you.
The word friend can rely on a range of relationships. From the friend you've know since school, to the guy you hang out with at work or the girl that you regularly see at the dance class.
If you're trying to be friends with someone in the hope that you'll hook up with them at some point then you're on dangerous ground unless you know what you're doing.
I've done so with women in my social circle, people that I consider…